i thought you were here.

i don't get tired. i'm still in love. i'm gonna move. i'm used to pain and it is hard to break the habit. i like scars. i know i'm gonna hate you someday, but it's still too early. i feel lost and alone. i know i have got amazing friends. i like ink, i want more of it on my skin. i love being alone in the city just to watch the different people. i fear the dark. i adore the scent of your skin. i'm better than last year, you said. i love the scent of new books, i love them looking so neat and untouched. i'm naughty. i can't choose between fact and fiction. i hate this strange empty wake-up-feeling. i need shoes. i still hold you tight every night in my mind because i'm not over it. i think i might break. i hate sleeping alone. i love kisses on the neck. i lough tears with several guys. i'm wrong. i become a bird, a cat or just a raindrop on the wind sometimes. i never blog in english. i love saying it by notes, food, flowers and silence. i am asymmetrical and unbalanced. i don't wear make-up today. i get inspired. i knit scarves for those i love. i think i will find my way. i try to sort everything. i drink another cup of tea. i close my eyes and see all the things i'm afraid to lose. i lock myself out. i write more than i can read. i nearly stood on an open stage today. i know you lie to me. i breathe. i miss waking up in the morning and being happy about what i have to do. i have never been this far. i screw it up. i'm making plans. i get to travel  around the country. i passed the moment to start ballet. i miss my cat. i wish i had a single cigarette now. i go to bed now. i sometimes forget about what it really is. i fuck you very much.